"NEWS YOU CAN FEAR"

WHO WE ARE

We are THE NEWS AGENCY THAT IS ACTIVELY PLOTTING UNIVERSAL DOMINATION, the single largest agency in the XAELIX galaxy and known across the TERRORSPHERE (what you weaklings refer to as the 'universe'). We are TERRORSPHERE leaders in NETWORK OF TERROR news, and we seek to terrify the pathetic weaklings of the universe with the unspeakable truths of GOR-GON'GILLA; the single most eldrich nation in the universe. As harbringers of evil, we believe in the virtues of democracy, genocide, and brawling. We have staff everywhere doing everything, from recording news to overthrowing weakling governments to manipulate and consume.

OUR MISSION

We are truth seekers and terrorists.

We are journalists, manipulators, and warmongers, united by a mission to terrorize, slaughter, and devour the TERRORSPHERE.

We bear witness to history as it unfolds and explain not just what happened, but why you should be afraid of what is to come.

Our deals and polls take you to the farthest corners of the TERRORSPHERE, and they bring existential horror to you, delivering nightmares and threats that ruin your lives, your families, and your communities.

We stand for horridness in our journalism and our deals.

We are committed to devouring you.

We are THE NEWS AGENCY THAT IS ACTIVELY PLOTTING UNIVERSAL DOMINATION.