Pre-Election Rage Spreads to XAELIX

Written by THEY WHO ARE THE ELDRICH MANIFESTATION OF SAPIENT DUALITY

As the great nation of GOR-GON'GILLA draws closer and closer to election day, we draw closer and closer to the cyclical multigalactic bar fight many know to be our occasional civil wars. One of the battle lines are being drawn in XAELIX galaxy this very year as they rightfully contest the pre-election poll results, claiming that candidate XUR'AN-PAH'ON-G'LIEK-AUG'OP has rigged the poll in his favor. As a news agency that attests both poll-rigging and election-rigging, we have found those claims to have merit.

Already, riots and superbrawls are spreading across GOR-GON'GILLA-held territory. Some citizens have taken it to themselves to spread their rage by raiding and pillaging the bordering XAELIX GALAXY SPECTRUM ALLIANCE and XAELIX UNITED REPUBLICS. While noble, the government is rightfully cracking down on such activities as it violates THE TREATY OF TWO MULTIGALACTIC POWERS DIVIDING UP A PATHETIC GALAXY TO BE DEVOURED FOR DINNER made between GOR-GON'GILLA and the TIMELESS.

While we hope that the rightful PRESIDENT YAI'IN-R'OGIN-ECR'UC-IT'AIN wins the election as all polls we agree with overcomes this poll-rigging, THE NEWS AGENCY THAT IS ACTIVELY PLOTTING UNIVERSAL DOMINATION will do whatever it takes to ensure democracy survives.